Talk about Entertainment...

Generally speaking, J is not a morning person.

She stumbles over and puts food in my bowl around 6 or 7 in the morning--5 if she hasn't gone to bed yet. She keeps irregular hours. (her words, I'm just repeating 'em)

It's because of this, in fact, that she started dropping a bit of kibble on the floor next to the dog food cabinet when she feeds me. She says it's so I get a little extra, but we all know the truth: She's a mess in the mornings and not much better at noon when she gets up for real and feeds me lunch.

I can't possibly be the only animal in the house who has noticed this or figured it out.

You'd think...

This morning the girl cat--I call her Irritant--decided she wanted something. Could've been water, might've been attention. Who knows? She went to the hallway and started yowling. You'd think the kid would have heard her...

J hadn't been asleep for more than an hour, if that. When she finally figured out what the noise was, she called out, "Shut! Up!" in a mean voice.

Yeah, that's gonna work.

The cat was quiet just long enough for J to settle down again. Soon as she rolled over, the cat started carrying on. She yelled again, but of course, nothing happened.

J decided to go after her with the spray bottle. The little beast ran for the kitchen. I have no idea why.

J must've thought the creature wanted fresh water. You know how picky cats can be. The cat was quiet while J dumped the water in the sink, washed the bowl, and then filled it up again. She was just tired enough to be desperate, I think.

As soon as she put the bowl down, the stupid cat started up again.

I say stupid because there was no other word for it. Irritant was standing right in front of J and has lived with the woman for 3 years. She should've known better. They say cats are smart...

J turned the sink back on and grabbed a measuring cup that was on the counter. As soon as the cat started up again, J ran that cup under the water and then dumped it right on the Irritant's upturned little fuzzy face.

The cat was so shocked it didn't even move for five or ten seconds. Suddenly, the thing let out a choking, screeching kind of sound and jumped straight up and then shot out of the room.

It was hysterical. Even the other cat was laughing.

Eventually, J started feeling guilty. She got a couple of paper towels and called the idiotic animal. It came, can you believe it? Squelching and dripping all the way.

I laughed myself silly. The male cat and I (I call him Menace) have been in perfect accord all day--cracking up whenever we look at each other. We haven't heard much from the Irritant today. Oddly enough, it's staying away from the kitchen.


Cosmo